Well…this has been some kind of year, hasn’t it? Yesterday as I was getting lunch for the boys “I’m still standing” came up on my playlist from the album ‘Sing’. I know it seems weird but a singing teenage gorilla burning through those piano keys made me suddenly really thankful I am alive. By the way, if you have not watched Sing, watch Sing. I dare you not to smile.
I will always love and miss my daughter. However, I stay on Gods promise that I WILL see her again in heaven. I am also thankful that we went through all the steps to get Isaac assessed and diagnosed, and he is just beginning Occupational Therapy with a wonderful teacher.
“I’m still standing better than I ever did! I’m standing like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid. I’m still standing after all this time…I’m picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind… ”
I’m sure any of us can attest to still standing after the type of year they may have had. It may not have involved loss of a child, a near-death experience, and an autism diagnosis, husband starting a new real estate business (nathanjines.com)…ok, it’s been a big year. I need a vacation.
What I’m trying to say is I’ve learned a few things in the past year.
- After a big loss, you really feel like you have nothing to lose, so who cares what others think of you? I’ve been writing my entire life and for the first time I’m not afraid of other opinions, or even if its read (thank you for reading by the way). I hate the reason why my blog became noticed, but God has bigger plans than I do.
2. Be thankful. For everything. After Phoebe passed, all the anxiety I was holding about Isaac and his development faded away and I just wanted to love my boy for who he is. I’m thankful he will be receiving extensive help and am thankful for Gods provision there. I realized that when I say what I’m thankful for the complaints don’t seem as big. Even if they are, I serve a big God who understands, even when I do not.
3. Live with joy in your heart. Yes, I do have another son! Luke is the light we never knew we needed. He’s sweet, funny and oh so dramatic! He has enough personality to light up any room he enters. I know I talk about Isaac and Phoebe a lot. But he’s the other reason I’m a SAHM, and I’m so thankful for his little life.
The bible says this:
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle, you will still be standing firm. Ephesians 6:13
This last year was a battle in so many ways BUT by God’s grace we got through and can stand because we did all we could.
When things are hard, stand firm friends, when the battle is over you can stand firm knowing but was not by your power, but the power of God through you.
Keep standing everyone!
Wow, such a beautiful post. I am so sorry you are going through this, but your attitude and resilience are inspiring. You’re right – we just need to keep standing when life gets tough. Sending you lots of love – speak766