What can I say about my beautiful son? He loves to have fun, loves to read, has a deep obsession with Veggie Tales and Thomas the train. After 4 months of paperwork, Isaac has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. What does this mean? He sees the world differently than others and he experiences life differently than others. When we took him to get tested, I expected that he would need speech therapy, but then the Doctor explained the level of autism he has as well as the sensory processing delays. I don’t think it hit me until we got home and then I cried.
I cried because I didn’t realize the diagnosis was going to be that bad.
I cried because I don’t want my son to be misunderstood.
I cried because I don’t want him hurt.
I cried because I don’t want others to limit him because of a label.
I thought I would feel better after knowing the diagnosis. But I just wrestled with more questions, I still am. I wanted to blame myself like I did something to make his delays happen. Maybe it was too much screen time or the hot button of getting him vaccinated? Should I have dip dried him in coconut oil every day, that stuff works all kinds of miracles I hear. It’s easy to want to blame myself for what is happening to my son, or maybe, this is something we continue to wrestle with and trust God for greater things.
In the meantime, I’m working to get him help as soon as possible. I’m praying that Isaac becomes the man that he was created to be. Yes, we will get all the help possible for him, I’m looking forward to seeing how he will begin to thrive. My son is brilliant, sweet, funny and joyful.
We have prayed daily for him to know the love of Jesus and show that to others, and nothing changes there. We still want that for him. I want him to have friends, learn to love others as Christ loves him.
Am I going to accept Autism is the end of the road, or am I going to believe God for more than we can ask, think, or imagine? I don’t have all the answers but I do have hope. Philippians 1:6 says this: Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.’
I love my first born and nothing is going to stop him from being the best Ike he can be. Autism and sensory issues will not define who he is. God still has a plan for Isaac and I cannot wait to walk along with him on this incredible journey.