I hope this is read because I’m not sure I can ever write this down or explain it again. So I hope you read it, this may be my only explanation. Two nights ago I was 20 weeks pregnant with our first daughter, her name was Phoebe. I had no idea I was in labor and gave birth to her in our house, then rushed to the hospital. She was alive for about 30 minutes. My baby, who technically you can abort at her age was alive.
She changed our lives forever.
She took one for the team and saved my life.
How? There was a bacterial infection that once she was born spread throughout my body. I began to have a fever and lost a lot of blood. I lost more blood and blacked out. After many many rounds of antibiotics and two bags of blood, I was released to go home.
If Phoebe was not born when she was I don’t know what could have happened to me. I’m now home with all the effects of having a baby, but my daughter is in heaven and we are here.
Do I fully understand why? No. Do I know in my spirit that she is in a better place right now and that one day we WILL see her again? Yes.
Because of Jesus. This is not the part of the blog where you check out and say “well, that works for you.”
I watched my daughter live and die prematurely. Why do I have hope? Because of Christ. I have peace in my heart in the midst of the worst time in my entire life.
There is a hope that has been given to us through Jesus. He died for us so we could live. Read John3:16-17. Find a bible. Look it up.
We will bury our baby girl in a few days, and I never want to experience this pain of picking out my child’s headstone ever again. I will never take for granted what I’ve been blessed with ever again. But that’s for another blog.
I’ll be taking a break for a few weeks, then I’ll talk about the lessons we’ve learned. As for now, I can barely walk and need to rest. I’m thankful for all the kind messages and for the people who have been dropping off food for us. There are moments of joy and extreme pain and loss. But our hope lays in Jesus.
Thank you for your time,